Things not to do when talking to a Trans* persyn (or at least me):
- Do not use the wrong pronoun. Slip ups are always understandable but they still cause intense dysphoria, and there is only so many times you can slip up without it seeming malicious.
- Do not make a scene when you do mess up on their pronoun. Just silently recognize it and don’t mess up the next time. It will become habit otherwise.
- Do not bring up other Trans* folk by saying that they ‘pass’ and use their correct pronoun and then mess up the pronoun of the Trans* persyn being conversed with. This causes even greater dysphoria because it is played over in their head that they don’t ‘pass’ and that is why you aren’t using their pronoun.
- Do not expect praise for using the right pronoun/name.
- Do not talk about ‘when they were a girl/boy’. They were never a girl/boy. They merely just begun actually transitioning so the world will see them as their gender.
- Do not bring the topic up in front of people who aren’t aware of the Trans* persyn’s transition.
- Do not bring up their transition at all, actually, unless you ask permission.
- Do not ask about the persyn’s birth name.
- Do not bring up the persyn’s birth name.
- Do not use the persyn’s birth name when referring to them.
- Do not ask to use a different form of the persyn’s birth name. Why? What is the point of that? I don’t understand.
- Do not bring up about how so and so doesn’t respect the persyn’s pronoun or chooses to use their birth name. They already know. They don’t need to be reminded.
- Do not say things like “I know you want me to see you as a (insert gender here), but how do you expect me to when you act/dress like that?”
- When talking to a genderqueer individual, do not ask about the persyn’s genitalia just because their Trans* gender does not specify their birth sex.
- Do not ask about what surgeries the persyn is going to have in small talk. This is not a small talk topic. Wait until the persyn brings it up, but also, don’t expect them to.
- Do not question their identity.
- Do not ask them any questions that a persyn would ask a persyn of the Trans* persyn’s birth gender. They most likely won’t answer because you have no need to know, they don’t want you to see them as less than their actual gender, and it will most likely cause extreme dysphoria. Pretty much you will look like a giant ass.
- Do not make up excuses for people that the Trans* persyn feels disrespected by. Take their feelings into consideration. If someone made them super dysphoric, then they made them super dysphoric, no reason or excuse will change that or make it less real.
Please add to the list if you’d like. Just remember that this doesn’t go for every Trans* persyn. All of these are things that cause me and some other people dysphoria and so I’m assuming they are pretty common triggers.
Just bringing this back..
