i just really miss having a partner.
i miss holding someone’s hand with meaning and knowing that there is someone who actually cares about what is going on and someone who is interested in getting to know everything about me.
i miss learning new things about someone, watching them grow, growing with them. I miss checking in with them, seeing how they are.
falling asleep with them.
i miss it.
trying so so hard to not be moldable
maybe i’m wrong and not checking my privilege well enough but i don’t think there is anything wrong with speaking out about an oppression that doesn’t affect you so long as you aren’t taking a voice away from the people it does discriminate/exclude/marginalize.
my skin is constantly breathing in hopes of taking in yours. it is on continuous alert and awareness for when we might touch. but that won’t happen for quite some time.
i don’t care if i live in a small house that isn’t traditionally ‘beautiful’ and might be a little dilapidated, as long as i live somewhere breathtaking where the outside is more of a home than my own shelter, i will be happy. and this will most likely be a forested area.
tonight has been and will continue to be a hard night but at least i can fall asleep in my own bed worry free
I need to stop listening to bon iver. i need to figure my shit out. none of these things are going to happen though, of course.
there is nothing more beautiful than our names next to each other, believe me.
no one could ever fucking replace you
i just wish for once my mom would stop saying she loved me and instead showed me she loved me.
wake me when you’re home
i know you’ll be a while
but please don’t be long
-
when you left i said
i’ll be strong, but realizing
now that i was wrong
I am a dyke. I am not a girl. I am a womyn. I am not a lady. I am whatever the fuck I am when I am it.
i turn the music up so loud that when i scream along to songs the only part of me i can sense is the vibrations in my throat and the hurt in my heart
i may have left but he is still with me
